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This picture of my dad at his desk was taken when he was a young architect just starting out in business. Now all these years later, he is in the last stages of Alzheimers and is very close to death. It is a difficult time for all of us and during these heartbreaking days of waiting and praying for an end to his suffering, I am reminding myself that most of us have within us what we need to deal with difficult and troubling life events. We just need to give ourselves a chance to get in touch with it. And I suspect that one way for me to do that is by trying, to the degree that I am able, to make sure there is consistency between the things I say and do, and the best things about who I am. This can be tricky because I think there is a tendency for the opposite to happen in stressful and tense situations. Times like this can often bring out the worst things about a person.

And yet I have always believed that even though I cannot control the tough stuff that happens in the course of my lifetime, I have a great deal of control over how I am going to deal with it. The problem of course is how to stay centered and focused when bad things happen so that I can avoid being overwhelmed by them. Because once that happens I start feeling fragmented and disoriented by the anxieties and worries that surround me and soon I begin to lose perspective. It is as if my world shrinks and becomes a very small place where all my attention gets focused on what is troubling me – so that I end up forgetting all about everything else that matters in my life.

What I need to do when this starts happening is to find a way to reclaim the things about who I am and how I live that will help restore peace and harmony and perspective in my life. I need to take time not only to restore my energies, but also to give myself permission to go beneath the surface of what’s troubling me – not to dwell on how hard it is but rather to try to search for the deeper meaning that is usually to be found there. I have always suspected that the only way I can ever pay attention to how God is present in my life (whoever and whatever God is) is by looking for the deeper meaning in things. And so it makes sense to take this same approach when confronted with difficult and troubling life-events.

I also believe there is wisdom in making a point of remembering the things that I have always found most meaningful, significant and beautiful about life. Perhaps this is why one of my favorite scriptural quotes comes from Philippians 4:8-9. It is a reminder that when life gets hard, it is good to think about those things that make it worthwhile: Think about what is good, what is enduring, what is affirming. Think about the people I cherish and those that cherish me. Think about everything I have learned about what it means to live my life attentively...and then keep on doing it. Keep on keeping on and sooner or later I know that I will find my way back to being the person I know in my heart I really am.

While it is tempting to wish I could avoid the pain of what’s going on in my life right now, I know the only way through it is….through it. Rather than letting myself be overwhelmed by the problems, difficulties and sorrows I’m encountering these days, I think there is wisdom in letting myself be immersed in them instead. Language teachers know that “immersion experiences” are the best way for a person to learn a new language. So I suspect being fully immersed in whatever is happening in my life - including the sorrow and pain of waiting for my dad's death - will help me learn a little more about what it means to be me.

My 2011 reading challenge pick in the “Banned Book” category is John Steinbeck’s Of Mice and Men, which according to the American Library Association is consistently ranked among the top ten most frequently challenged books for a variety of reasons including violence, cruelty to animals and the lack of strong female characters. But my guess is that what really ends up getting the book banned is the way it ends -- because it clearly makes the case that mercy killing can be the form that compassion takes.


Compassion is one of several themes that run through this depression era short novel, originally titled Something That Happened and later changed to Of Mice and Men – a line taken from a poem by Robert Burns: “the best laid schemes o' mice an' men Gang aft agley.” It’s the story of two migrant workers whose dream of someday owning their own little farm where they can settle down to “live off the fatta the lan’ is impossible to attain. But the novel is really all about the bond between a child-like, developmentally disabled man and his loyal friend who has taken on the responsibility of looking out for him.


Classic pieces of literature are those that tell us something timeless and true about life and human nature in a way that engages our understanding and empathy. Steinbeck has done that here. Of Mice and Men deals with classic themes: courage vs. cowardice, strength vs. weakness, innocence vs. experience, loneliness and the longing to belong, alienation and isolation, duty, the burden of being responsible for others, the task of mercy, and the weight of compassion.

John Steinbeck, who is said to have preferred writing with pencils, and often used as many as 60 each day, is one of America’s finest writers. He didn’t graduate from college, and most likely he never enrolled in a writers workshop or signed up for a course in creative writing. He did try his hand at free-lance writing in the 20’s but failed at it and eventually turned his attention to novels. His first success was in 1935 with Tortilla Flat filled with rough and earthy humor. Of Mice and Men was published in 1937 and The Grapes of Wrath, widely considered to be his best work, appeared in 1940.

Steinbeck’s sympathies for migrant workers and the struggles of working-class people didn’t set well with everyone. In 1942, an unidentified informant complained to J. Edgar Hoover: "For some time past I have resented books by Steinbeck, for they portray such unrepresentative pictures of our American life in rural districts. I live near the Everglades farms district and most of the migrants out there live better than I do, while they are here for the picking season."
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